Classic sports essays...ah, the old, washed up, dated essays. These were originally broadcast on The Turf.
DIDN’T SEE IT…By Bill Rogan (6-12-07)
My television viewing habits are pretty simple. Sports and news, usually in that order.
I bring this up because numerous people have asked I what I thought about the final episode of The Sopranos.
Well, I didn’t see the episode and I’ve never seen an episode of The Sopranos. Not one. When I tell people I’ve never seen the show they look at me like I have an eye in the middle of my forehead and open sores all over my body.
I’ve never seen Cheers, The Cosby Show or Friends either. Want more? I’ve never watched Law and Order, American Idol, CSI, 24 or Lost. It’s just not my thing.
I don’t begrudge people from watching various TV shows. But why must they look at me as if I’m a freak for not watching the same dopey shows as they do? Here’s a shocker for some of you; there are more people on the planet who haven’t seen a single episode of the aforementioned shows than have seen them.
I’m not a complete TV ignoramus. I have actually seen some TV shows. However, I find most TV shows to be boring and a complete waste of time.
One friend of mine is a big fan of the show Survivor. I asked him once, “So, how many people died on the show last night?” He said, “None.” How can a program named Survivor be a true reality show when nobody dies? If you have a show where you stick 10 people on an island and the last one standing wins, then I’ll watch.
Until then, I’ll just watch the truest form of reality television, sports and news. I’d rather watch a WNBA game than to watch Dancing With The Stars. And as far as The Sopranos, stop asking me about the final episode. Before I was sent to Colorado as a member of the Federal Witness Protection Program, I lived the mobster life. I don’t need to see it on TV. Wait, I’ve said too much.
WHAT?…By Bill Rogan (6-7-07)
I have a new favorite minor league baseball team. They play in something called the Golden Baseball League, a professional independent circuit. Independent meaning they are not affiliated with any Major League teams.
Yes, when the GBL season begins next week, I’ll be cheering, although from a distance, for the Long Beach Armada of Los Angeles of California of the United States of North America Including Barrow, Alaska. That’s not only a mouthful but also the longest name of any professional sports team in the world. Of course, you can use the easy abbreviation of the team, simply LBALACUSNAIBA.
One of the reasons I love minor league baseball is because they don’t take themselves too seriously. What better way to poke fun at the sanctimonious Major Leagues, in particular Arte Moreno, the owner of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, who don’t play in L-A any more than the Armada plays in Barrow, Alaska. Just for the record, the Long Beach Armada of Los Angeles of California of the United States of North America Including Barrow, Alaska games will be broadcast in Barrow, Alaska on KBRW radio, just in case you may be driving around that area this summer.
Maybe, someday the LBALACUSNAIBA can sign Jarrod Saltalamacchia, currently of the Braves and the man with the longest surname in big league history.
So good luck to my new team, the Long Beach Armada of Los Angeles of California of the United States of North America Including Barrow, Alaska. I hope they win the Golden Baseball League World Championship. When that happens, I won’t envy the guy who has to engrave the trophy.
A BLEEPING PIECE OF BLEEP…By Bill Rogan (6-1-07)
I can’t ever recall being as repulsed as I was last night when I read this week’s Sports Illustrated article detailing the sordid world of dog fighting, a world that Michael Vick apparently has been a part of.
The Falcons quarterback, although denying he knew of dog fighting on his property, is the person authorities are gathering information on and an indictment could very well be handed down soon.
As a distant observer, it appears to me that there is no question that Vick was, as an informant claims, a heavyweight in dog fighting.
If these claims prove to be true then Vick should be sent to prison for a long time. We all know that athletes get breaks when they commit crimes. Many get slaps on the wrist and in the rare event they get jail time, they frequently are allowed to serve their time in the off-season. How convenient.
Falcons Owner Arthur Blank should see to it that Vick has a permanent off-season. Blank should never allow this miscreant to wear the Atlanta uniform again. Any person who is involved, in any capacity, in dog fighting is a sub-human.
I’m quite confident NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is paying close attention to this situation. My guess is that we won’t see Vick playing in the NFL this season. Hopefully, the next time he suits up it will be in a real life version of The Longest Yard.
NOBODY’S BUSINESS BUT A-RODS…By Bill Rogan (6-1-07)
As a baseball fan, I care about Alex Rodriguez’ batting average. I am intrigued by his home run and RBI totals. I enjoy watching him play and as a Yankees fan, I revel in his successes and moan about his failures. That stuff I care about. What I don’t care about is what A-Rod does off the field.
The NY Post, the best sports section in America by the way, should be ashamed at the way they have pried into the private life of Alex Rodriguez. On the front page of Wednesday’s paper, the headline read, “Stray-Rod” and showed a picture Rodriguez heading into an elevator with a busty blonde who, by the way is not his wife. The story detailed his night of dinner and a visit to a strip club with the blonde. Yesterday and today, there have been more stories on Rodriguez and his exploits off the field.
Guess what? It’s none of my business, it’s none of your business and it’s certainly not any of the NY Post’s business what Alex Rodriguez does in his private life. He’s a baseball player, nothing more and nothing less. He is not a publicity-seeking movie star. He is not a politician. He’s not trying to cure cancer or develop a plan for world peace. He’s a baseball player.
Yes, the NY Post is in the business of selling newspapers. In this instance I believe they have crossed the line.
If A-Rod is cheating on his wife, then let Mrs. Rodriguez deal with her 22-million dollar a year husband and let the media focus on what he does on the ballfield.
TAKE THAT!…By Bill Rogan (5-27-07)
I’m not a big lacrosse fan. I can honestly say I have only witnessed a handful of games start to finish.
However, tomorrow I will be a keen observer of the NCAA Division One Lacrosse Championship between Johns Hopkins and Duke.
Duke lacrosse. We’ve heard of them the last year or so haven’t we? We’ve heard of them however for all the wrong reasons.
We are familiar with the stripper who wrongly accused three Duke lacrosse players of kidnapping and rape. We won’t forget misguided and overzealous prosecutor Mike Nifong.
And we’ll remember, hopefully, that those accused of such heinous acts were completely exonerated. But severe damage was done.
Duke’s season last year was terminated before due process. Head Coach Mike Pressler was encouraged to resign even though he had done absolutely nothing wrong. Basically Duke said to Pressler, “It doesn’t look good so we have to let you go.”
Duke lacrosse has done their talking on the field and they are one win away from the National Championship. I’m sure a lot of folks, including in Duke’s administration, who rushed to judgment on this team, will be secretly pulling for Duke to lose. A win would bring more publicity to the team and remind people of a case that was mismanaged from day one. A Duke lacrosse title would mean a lot of people would be eating crow.
Sports are about overcoming adversity and that is why I want to see Duke win. A triumph for those who were kicked to the curb last year all because a stripper, Crystal Mangum, decided to lie, an incompetent Mike Nifong who had his own agenda and all the people who were quick to proclaim guilt despite the complete and total lack of evidence.
(*Note: Johns Hopkins won 12-11. Congrats to the Blue Jays.)
CAN’T SPELL CRAP WITHOUT R-A-P….By Bill Rogan (5-18-07)
New York Mets outfield prospect Lastings Milledge, like so many athletes, wants to be a rapper. He put out a rap CD with a friend of his that featured vulgar, racist and sexist lyrics. The Mets, who have had their hands full with Milledge on and off the field, were not amused.
Today, I was reading a column by Phil Mushnick in the New York Post. He brought up the point that Milledge’s lyrics were no worse than NBA approved Jay Z, a part owner of the Nets.
I decided to “Google” Jay Z’s lyrics. What I saw was appalling. How any decent human being with half a brain could endorse these lyrics is astounding. Every “song” had the n-word in it, numerous times. There were obscene references and vile words in just about every line. Disgraceful is a word that comes to mind. No-talent comes to mind as well.
For the sake of full disclosure, I’ve never heard a Jay Z song. Rap music isn’t my thing. To me, if you’ve heard one rap song you’ve heard them all. Plus, to me anyway, it is almost impossible to understand the lyrics in rap songs. That probably is a good thing.
Oh sure, the middle-aged white guy isn’t in tune with Jay Z’s artistry. No, I’m not apparently. If I were black I would still be out of the loop. Not only that I would be highly embarrassed by the garbage spewed by Jay Z.
Anyway, the only time I’ve actually ever heard Jay Z is when he was singing in a beer commercial while chasing a car driven by Danica Patrick. Why this particular beer company and Patrick would want associate themselves with someone like Jay Z is a mystery to me.
Back to Lastings Milledge. The Mets have to decide if this gangsta is worth the trouble. If I were Mets General Manager Omar Minaya or Mets owner Fred Wilpon, he would be done. I wouldn’t allow him to disgrace the uniform. Milledge has proven to be a very immature 22 year old and he is facing well-deserved heat from the New York media. The heat that, as Mushnick pointed out, seems to have escaped rap “artist” Jay Z.
BEATDOWN TIME!…..By Bill Rogan (5-17-07)
Last week, I was watching the Yankees put the finishing touches on a win over the Texas Rangers. Mariano Rivera, who needed to get some work in, was on the mound.
The director cut to a close up of Rivera and he looked agitated. The reason was that a so-called fan had run onto the field.
A few moments later, another schmucky fan ran onto the field and Rivera was obviously upset. He needed to concentrate and get the final outs and two liquored up imbeciles decided to get in a little exercise on the Yankee Stadium lawn.
Television has a policy of not showing these dopes running around on the field. They don’t want to give publicity to them. While that might have been a good policy a while back, I feel that it is now outdated.
My belief is that television should show these guys running out of the field. I am also of the opinion that once security corrals these morons, they should beat the living daylights out of them. A Rodney King type beat-down would not only be a deterrent in the future for imbibed idiots who contemplate running onto the field but it would also be highly entertaining. Who wouldn’t want to see fans get the stuffing beat out of them, especially if it’s a Yankee fan? Heck, I’m a Yankee fan and I wouldn’t mind seeing Yankee fans who run on the field get pummeled.
Although, I am surprised fans running out onto the field hasn’t been used in strategic form by teams. Suppose you need to get a relief pitcher warmed up in a hurry. He needs more time to get ready. Have a designated “fan” run onto the field. Let security in on the strategy so they don’t grab him right away. Once the relief pitcher is warmed up, then security can catch the DF, designated fan, and proceed to beat him mercilessly. That’s simply smart baseball and what fan wouldn’t want to take one for the team in that manner?
Seriously, fans running onto the field has got to stop. Who knows if a fan is simply looking for a few minutes of glory or is out to injure a player? My feeling is fans that run out onto the field should be beaten silly, shown on TV and then taken underneath the stands and shot. That might get the message across that running onto the field is not such a good idea even if your drunken best friend thinks it would be cool if you made a dash across the outfield.
REPLAY NEEDED IN BASEBALL….By Bill Rogan (5-8-07)
It’s time for instant replay in baseball. The technology is there and there is no legitimate excuse not to have it.
Instant replay, which is not always instant, is utilized in football, the NBA and NHL. Why not baseball?
On Monday, I watched two baseball games on television and witnessed two blatantly bad calls.
In St. Louis, Rockies shortstop Troy Tulowitzki belted a 9th inning home run to snap a 2-2 tie. However, the second base umpire Bob Davidson, thought the ball hit off the top of the wall and ruled it a double. TV replays clearly showed the ball landed about three feet beyond the wall and hit a black railing before the front row of seats. The ball ricocheted back onto the field. Tough call for Davidson? Yes it was. He was at ground level, the ball landed where he couldn’t see it and he made the call, although a wrong one. The lengthy argument that ensued resulted in Rockies irate manager Clint Hurdle getting tossed.
The Rockies did end up winning the game and the call will be forgotten in time. Except by Tulowitzki who will forever remember that his career home run total should be one more than it is. Unless someday he hits a ball that is erroneously called a homer.
Ironically, Garrett Atkins of the Rockies was cheated out of a home run just two days earlier in Cincinnati in similar fashion, a ruling that could have been corrected with replay.
The other game I watched saw the Mariners beat the Yankees 3-2 with help from a botched call. With 2 outs in the top of the 8th, Willie Bloomquist of Seattle attempted to steal second. He was tagged on the rear end as he slid head first. Replays show his hands were two feet from the bag. Clearly out. Unfortunately for the Yanks, second base umpire Gerry Davis, called Bloomquist safe. Instead of the third out of the inning, Bloomquist came around to score on a bloop single to tie the game.
It is lame to blame an umpire for a loss but face it, blown calls do play a part in who wins or loses. With so much at stake, baseball should come up with a system in which replay can make sure the calls, other than balls and strikes, are correct.
Baseball has been slow over the years to embrace change. With the technology we have now and with the success other sports have had with replay, its time baseball embrace replay. If you think replay would lead to long delays, I say maybe it will shorten the game because it could eliminate long arguments. Forget about tradition and never mind that the umpires will likely fight the introduction of replay into the game. The overriding factor should be to get the call right.
THE WAITING IS THE HARDEST PART…By Bill Rogan (5-3-07)
As a kid, the wait until Christmas Day seemed never ending. However, compared to the wait for college football season, that seems like nothing.
I’ll admit it. I’m hurting for college football.
The two sports I miss the most in the off-season are baseball and college football and for some reason I’m missing college football more than usual this year.
Who gives a rat’s behind about spring football practice? I do. Why? Because it helps soothe the cravings at least for a little while.
I don’t know if college football message boards are a good thing or bad thing. Perhaps both. Its good to know you can go to these message boards and read about college football and post your opinions if you wish. On the other hand, they are stupid message boards with posts from similar nut jobs that are pining for the real thing.
I’ll also peruse out of town newspapers on the Internet, especially those from the south, to grab whatever college football news I can. I’ll check out the various college football websites and wait impatiently for the college football magazines to start popping up on store shelves.
Another way I handle living in the college football off-season is to watch tapes of past games. The other day I was watching the 1989 Notre Dame-Michigan game, the one where Rocket Ismail returned two kickoffs for touchdowns. For a few brief moments it was college football season again.
So if you hear me humming or whistling a fight song, if you see me looking frantically for college football magazines at the book store or logging onto college football websites when I should be working, please take it easy on me. I’m hungering for college football and the only thing that will ease my pain will be when Georgia Tech meets Notre Dame on September 1st. It can’t get here fast enough.
MR. KNUCKLEHEAD…By Bill Rogan (4-29-07)
He may be the most exciting player in the NFL. His highlights are a must-see on Sunday nights. He's faster than fast and has the arm strength of a howitzer. He's been to the Pro Bowl multiple times and has set rushing records for his position. With that being said, I wouldn't want Michael Vick quarterbacking my team.
Football-wise, he has not developed as could be reasonably expected or improved his game the way the top overall pick in the 2001 draft should. His passing accuracy remains sub-par and you have to wonder if he will ever get better in that department. He is also turnover prone.
The main reason though I would not want Vick guiding my team is because he is simply a knucklehead. He's in trouble way too often for a guy who is in a leadership position and plays the most demanding position in team sports. A QB is the on-field brain of a team and Vick has shown indications that his brain doesn't always operate the way an NFL quarterback's should.
He hasn't killed two people like OJ did but his list of transgressions is alarming. He's been sued by a woman for allegedly giving her herpes and settled out of court. He got into a scrap with airport security over a water bottle that had a secret compartment. He flipped off the Atlanta fans last season. Earlier this week he failed to show up on Capitol Hill to lobby lawmakers to increase funding for after-school programs. Most alarming this week though was the revelation of animal abuse at a home he owns in Virginia. Vick claims he had no idea about the apparent dog-fighting ring that was taking place there and said that a cousin was living in the home. Vick added he's never even been to the property.
In fairness to Vick, he has done a lot of charity work. But all these problems, which seem to find him on a regular basis, negate much of the good things that he has done.
Recently, the Falcons traded quarterback Matt Schaub to the Texans. If I were a Falcons fan I'd be wondering if Atlanta traded the wrong guy.
THE BONZI SCHOOL OF BIDNESS…By Bill Rogan (4-18-07)
I’m not here to insult your intelligence. But, would you rather make 2.2 million dollars a year for two years or 7.7 million dollars a year for five years?
To break it down even more, would you rather have 4.4 million dollars after two years or 38 and a half million after five?
I’m guessing that most people would take the second choice, 38.5 million dollars over five years. Not exactly chump change.
Well, apparently it is chump change to NBA player Bonzi Wells. Seems ole Bonz and his agent took the first option. Wells and his agent, make that his ex-agent, William Phillips, scoffed at the Kings offer of 38.5 million beans over five seasons last summer. How insulting an offer was that? Everybody knows that Bonzi Wells is worth much more than that. The audacity of the Kings.
Guess what? The Kings took the offer off the table, signed someone else and Bonzeroo was left without a team.
Surely some team would want Wells. After all, if you look past his suspensions for spitting at a player, a post-game fight with another team, making obscene gestures to fans, making physical contact with an official, a criminal trespass citation and his inability to get along with coaches, some team would certainly want The Bonz.
The Houston Rockets to the rescue. They signed Wells to a 2-year, 4.4 million dollar deal. Bonzi was none too happy. His agent was toast and Wells forgot to bring his sunny, cheery attitude of gratitude to Houston.
This season Wells was kicked off the team for several weeks after complaining about his playing time. The Rockets weren’t happy that he was out of shape, although one might argue that round is indeed a shape.
Last week, Wells asked out of a game in Sacramento after the mean fans there taunted Bonzi for his business savvy. Then he stayed in his hotel room to watch television instead of going to the Rockets game against the Sonics. It’s bedtime for Bonz. He will not play for the Rockets again this season and I know what you are thinking. Poor, poor Bonzi Wells.
The moral of the story? If someone offers you 38.5 million dollars…take it!
