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Jarboe's Jabs 4
 Tony Jarboe is Artificial Turf's midwest correspondent and one of our Turf Top 17 College Football Pollsters. A journalism student at Northwestern University, Tony will opine about sports and share his college experiences. You can reach Tony at jarboes_jabs@yahoo.com.
Cleaning Out the Fridge (6-18-07)
The last week of school is always tough. On one hand, I was excited to finally be going home to see my family and friends, many of whom I had not seen in months. Plus, I had the extra incentive of a Cardinal’s game waiting for me at the end of the tunnel, so I was especially ready to finish the year. Unfortunately, it is also sad because it was the last time I will see many of the friends I had made at college, at least for the next few months.
There was also a certain sense of panic because of everything that had to be done. Between packing, saying goodbye to everyone, and, oh yeah, taking a couple of minor tests upon which my entire grade hinged, the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
To make all of their belongings fit into their luggage, many people had to throw away pretty much everything that was not nailed down or attatched to their bodies. This includes basically anything in the refrigerator.
My neighbor James was cleaning out his fridge when he found some unopened boxes of Hot Pockets. He did not have enough room in his suitcase to take them, so he offered them to me. As a college student, I am legally required to accept any and all free food.
He came across a few more Hot Pockets, this time not in a box. Again I thanked James and went to put them in my fridge. This time, however, I happened to flip one over. Instead of the nice golden-brownish color they are supposed to be, this one was green.
The other one was also green. I thought perhaps I should check the boxes, to see if they, too, were color-impaired. Indeed, they were all were covered in Penicillin.
When I told James of this problem, he said, “Yeah, I kind of had a feeling they would be bad after that day.”
“What day? The one in December, when the power went out?” I asked, praying that he meant that day, and not the one in September.
“Yeah, that too, but I was thinking of that day we brought all the food back. It got kind of hot, so I was not sure if they would still be good.”
So, yeah, he was talking about that day in September. Yum, frozen processed food that is moldy and old enough to vote. And James was kind enough to offer it to me. With friends like that, who needs enemies?
GIRL POWER…..(6-1-07)
"Northwestern Wins Third Straight Title" blared the headlines on Memorial Day. Wait. What?
"Northwestern", "wins", and "title" in the same sentence? And this was not even "The Onion", or some other similar satirical news website.
No, it was true. The Northwestern women’s lacrosse team captured the title for the third consecutive year. Granted, a lacrosse title is not quite on the level of, say, a BCS Championship, but give us a break. We’re Northwestern! We will take any championship we can get. And hey, three championships in a row is pretty good, even if it were in men’s basket-weaving.
Coach Kelly Amonte-Hiller has guided the ‘Cats to three championships in her six seasons at the helm of the Northwestern women’s lacrosse team. This latest title also adds to Northwestern’s growing collection of championships, giving us a grand total of four in school history (bringing us to within 96 of UCLA’s 100 NCAA titles).
I will let you re-read that last sentence again and do the math. Four championships in school history (in all sports) minus three consecutive lacrosse championships equals one championship EVER prior to 2004. Yes, in six years at Northwestern Amonte-Hiller has won three times as many championships as all other Northwestern coaches in all other sports combined. That previously lonely title? The unforgettable 1941 men’s fencing team. So unforgettable, in fact, that men’s fencing has not been a varsity sport since 1993, when it was relegated to club status. |
Although obviously our strongest team, the lacrosse team is not the only Northwestern squad making headlines. As I write this, our softball team, seeded second in the Women’s College World Series, is three wins shy of bringing home the first title in program history.
So is Northwestern set to become a sports dynasty? Probably not. But the Wildcat girls have it figured out. Now if only our guys could do the same…
ARMADILLOS! (5-26-07)
Academics are at the heart of any university (except for those that start with “M” and rhyme with Fichagan, but I digress). Their main purpose is to help students prepare for their future career through a rigorous curriculum and experienced professors. Without education a college is nothing.
If academics are at the heart of a university, then their soul is their school traditions. Most universities have something unique to them. Princeton has the Nude Olympics, where students run naked during the first snowfall of the year. Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University has “moo poo bingo”, an event in which students buy squares on a field where a cow grazes. The owner of the first square on which the cow takes care of business is the winner. Then there is North Idaho College, where at the end of November students try to knock down two-liter bottles with a frozen turkey. A strike nets students a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner.
At Northwestern, we have Armadillo Day, more commonly known as Dillo Day. Various music groups perform all day out on the lakefill. The bands are apparently fairly well-known, although I’ve never heard of any of them. Cake, The Roots, and Lupe are the “headliners”. I’ll try to contain my excitement.
 <Dillos!
In what I assume is a preview for Dillo Day, all of then members from one fraternity stripped down, put on body paint, grass skirts, and coconut bras, and started walking around chanting like an African jungle tribe. Even for college, it was a little on the odd side.
The school also sponsors various events throughout the day such as a pancake breakfast. Anywhere from 10 to 15,000 people come out to Northwestern for the day.
However, I will venture a guess that pancakes are not the reason Dillo Day is the most anticipated day of the entire year (although they are pretty good). That more likely has something to do with the rather large quantities of alcohol that are consumed. Students will wake up at 8 AM to drink and basically party all day long. It is really the one day every year that Northwestern students can act like real college students.
Today is even more special because it more or less marks the end of classes. Next week is Reading Week, which is a week where most classes are canceled so students can concentrate on studying for finals. I only have one class next week, so I am almost officially done with my freshman year. And then finals.
Hmm, I need a drink (Note to parents: Just kidding).
NO HABLO ESPAN…ESPA…..SPANISH! (5-19-07)
Once again showing that my prognostication skills are not quite on par with, say, Miss Cleo, I predicted that Spring Quarter would be a breeze for me and even suggested that I could get straight “A’s”.
Things are more or less going according to plan in my Journalism and Economics courses. Things could be going a little more smoothly in Christianity, but overall that class has not been too much of a struggle. Spanish, well, that's a different story.
After getting through the first half of the two-part class without too much of a struggle, I figured the second half would not be much more difficult. I assumed I would learn a couple new verb tenses, maybe some vocabulary, and I would be golden. You know what they say about people who assume.
I only did have to learn a couple of new verb tenses, but the problem is that that was on a weekly basis, not a monthly basis. Sure, that does not sound too tough, but after a month of learning so many different verb tenses and trying to remember which ending goes with which tense, which verbs do not follow the normal pattern, etc., things get more clouded than Ricky Williams’ living room.
Earlier I mentioned that I had forgotten most of my Spanish in the 20-day layoff between Spanish I and II, so I was already starting out behind most of the other kids in the class. Even worse, this book was designed to be taught over the course of a year, not two quarters, so we have to keep moving, making it very difficult to keep up. Even the prof thinks we have to go through the book too quickly. Now, as you know I’m not much for math (well, Calculus anyway), but:
slow learner + fast pace = bad news
Also for that class we have to watch a Spanish soap opera, La Usupadora (The Usurper). The plot is that this rich lady finds a poor girl that looks just like her, so she hires the poor girl to take her place for a year so she can run off to be with her boyfriend. Of course, the family figures out pretty fast that something weird is going on and it sets a whole chain of events in motion. Oh, and of course it turns out that the two main characters are actually twin sisters (played by the same actress). It is one of those unintentionally funny things, because the plot is so bad and the acting so shoddy that you cannot help but laugh. The idea is that watching it is supposed to help our listening comprehension, but I have a difficult time hearing what the characters are saying over the howling of laughter.
Anyway, after way too many worksheets, hours of study, and trips to the professor’s office, I have finally more or less caught up to the other students. But this class has taught me two valuable lessons.
First, I underestimated the difficulty of a class and I have paid the price. It has taken a massive amount of work to catch up to other students.
Second, if I ever go into acting, never, ever, evereverever work on a soap opera. There is no faster way to destroy an acting career than to work on a soap opera.
THOSE WACKY COLLEGE KIDS (5-13-07)
In most places, a man in a hotdog suit is a sight to behold. On a college campus, it is just a part of daily life.
College campuses are home to many strange sights and Northwestern is no exception. From the dude in the hotdog suit to the guy who apparently ticked off his barber, I have seen so many head-scratching things that think that I have lice.
What of our friend in the wiener costume? He actually had a purpose (not always a prerequisite for doing something outlandish), as he was promoting Hot Dog Days for one of the fraternities at Northwestern. The fraternity, Alpha Epsilon Pie, was selling hot dogs to help raise money for cancer research. In addition to the giant tube steak, they printed up T-shirts for their members to promote the event. It was a good cause, but still, it was kind of weird to walk out of class and be staring at a guy in a hotdog costume.
Another time when I was out and about I saw a guy who mad his hair-stylist a little, shall we say, displeased. In the interest of full journalistic disclosure, I will admit that I do not know for a fact that this guy actually ticked off his barber, but that is the only rational explanation I have for his hair cut. This dude had a perfectly normal hair, except that he was missing half of it. He had a strip of hair, then a shaved strip, then another strip of hair, alternating all the way across his head. Each strip was about an inch thick. As I said, maybe he angered his barber, because no rational person would ask for that hairstyle. Or maybe a normal haircut was $14 and he only had $7, so he got half a hair cut. It is possible that he has male pattern baldness. That’s one heck of a pattern. Whatever the case, I am sure the ‘do will be a big hit with his potential employers as he interviews for jobs. I suppose he could always become a sales clerk at an alternative-clothing store, but that is not exactly a great use of a $40,000-a-year education.
One of the buildings on campus has a courtyard in the middle of it, with only a small opening on one side to get into the courtyard. One day I was walking by and I heard some loud voices coming from inside the courtyard. Since no one is usually in there, I wondered what was up. Was there a fight? I get there and there is a guy dressed in a robe styled like one from the 15th (ish) century, and he was talking to a crowd of people, telling a story of some sort. On either side he had merchant’s wagon, one that you would find in a marketplace during that time. Either this guy got lost on his way to the Middle Ages or he was part on a play. I am guessing it is option B, because I have not seen Christopher Lloyd running around with a DeLorean. And quite frankly, I will be quite concerned if I ever do.
These strange sights are good for a chuckle every now and then, and they help to break up the everyday monotony of class, work, and meetings. Not a week goes by where I am not left pondering how inebriated I would have to be to do what others are doing, presumably completely sober. Now if you will excuse me, I have to run to the store to buy a hotdog costume.
A Matter of Time…(5-7-07)
Time or money? Before college, if given the choice of whether I would prefer more hours in the day or extra money, I would take the dollar bills every time. After all, time is not sexy. Money is. Money allows you to buy things. Money gives you more financial options. Money is power.
What money cannot buy you is freedom. Sure, having a high-paying job is nice, but what good is making $100,000 a year if you are never around to enjoy it?
I have met many students at Northwestern who are financially set. They have access to their parent’s considerable wealth, which gives them more money than I could ever dream of. And yet they are still unhappy because they cannot do anything. Why?
 < This...or that? > 
They don’t have the time. It does not matter how rich or poor you are. You still only get 24 hours in a day. When money is not a limiting factor in freedom, time often is. People get so wrapped up in creating money that it takes up all of their time without them even realizing it. Of course working 80 hours a week can be miserable, and, really, is being rich and miserable any better than being poor and miserable? Granted, it is more fun to cry in a Ferrari than a cardboard box, but you get the idea. It is not fun either way.
Although I am not exactly Bill Gates Jr., I am able to live comfortably enough in college. But, like everyone else, I am restricted by time. Because of this, time management has become extremely important. Balancing homework, classes, extra-curriculars, a job, and sleep is difficult in a 24-hour window. Difficult, but not impossible. I have managed to eliminate or minimize time-consuming activities such as watching TV, surfing the internet, playing video games, talking with my friends online, etc. Now I can get everything done and still manage 6-7 hours of sleep per night, while most of my friends only get 4-5 hours.
Barring some change in the time-space continuum, we will continue to have only 24 hours in a day, so I have found that wishing for more time does not help. By cutting out unproductive activities, I have managed to maximize my time and fit more of the things that I want to do into my schedule. As the old saying goes, “Need something done? Ask a busy person.”
*Note to parents: Just because I would rather have more time than money does not mean I do not want money. Please keep the cash coming.
THE FRIENDLY CONFINES…..(4-27-07)
Ohio State and Michigan. Duke and North Carolina. Bears and Packers. Cards and Cubs. Any time you can see your favorite team in action is great. Any time you can see your favorite team in action against their hated rival, it just gets that much better.
Last week one of my friends told me that she had an extra ticket to Saturday’s game between the Chicago Cubs and St. Louis Cardinals and asked if I wanted to go. I had a dilemma, because the Chicago Art Institute was having a study series that same day on Baroque Art, and I had been looking forward to that for months. And I am sure I would have been even more excited if I had a clue what the heck Baroque Art is.
 < Baroque art.
If somebody offered me tickets to see the Devil Rays play the Royals I would go. Asking me if I wanted free tickets to see the Cards take on their biggest rival was the equivalent of asking David Wells whether or not he would like another cheeseburger.
Wearing my “St. Louis Cardinals 2006 World Series Champions” hat and t-shirt, I showed up at my friend Naomi’s house so we could take the “L” to Wrigley Field (the “L” is Chicago’s main form of public transportation). She answered the door in her Cubs hat, gave me one look, shook her head, and said, “You are an embarrassment.” I took it as a complement.
Wrigley Field is about a 30 minute “L” ride from the Northwestern campus. It was an uneventful trip for the most part except that we had to do our best sardine impersonation for the last half of the ride. The “L” was packed even though we got there almost three hours before game time.
We got to our seats soon after the gates opened. When the usher pointed us towards the front of the stadium I got excited. When I found out that we were 12 rows behind home plate I grew ecstatic.
David Eckstein, the Cardinal’s shortstop, was standing 50 feet away from me as I reached my seat. He was signing t-shirts for some young children. As the Cubs took batting practice the St. Louis players stood around mingling with the fans and doing light workouts, waiting for their chance in the cage. When it was the Cards’ turn to take BP, I told Naomi a little bit about each player as he stepped into the batting cage to take his cuts.
After BP I started talking to a pair of elderly ladies, probably in their late 70s. Both were decked out in full Cubs regalia and appeared to be long-time season ticket holders. After a couple of minutes I looked down at my shirt and remarked, “You probably aren’t going to like me very well.” One of the ladies laughed and said, “Cardinal fans are fine. At least you aren’t a White Sox fan.”
I thought walking into Wrigley wearing a Cardinal’s shirt was about like walking into a lion’s den wearing a pork chop. Instead I was largely ignored by Cub fans and those that did talk to me never ripped the Cardinals. Sadly, this almost ruined my day. What good is a ball game without some spirited debate?
 <And it will!
I soaked in the atmosphere as fans slowly took their seats before the game. Although Cubs fans had the clear numerical advantage, there was plenty of Cardinal red in the stands, probably 35 percent of the people in attendance.
The weather could not have been more perfect. It was 80 degrees and sunny with a slight breeze, by far the best weather we had had so far this year. And a Cards/ Cubs game was the perfect way to spend the perfect day.
It remained the perfect day for about 30 minutes. That’s how long it took the Cubs to get a three-run home run to put them up for good. The Cards scored a grand total of zero runs that game. St. Louis displayed the power of your average golf cart, managing just seven singles the whole game. The Cubs won 6-0.
After the game we managed to beat most of the other attendees to the “L” stop, most likely in part due to the fact that about 35 percent of the patrons hit the neighborhood taverns to forget what they had just seen.
For the first part of the ride back home we were packed in, but as more patrons got off we were able to spread out a little. I was finally able to breathe again about three-quarters of the way back.
Despite the impotent offense and lackluster pitching, it was a good day. Beautiful weather, good fans, and a baseball game. What more could a guy ask for?
 < Um, how about this Tony?
Illi-NOISE…(4-21-07)
Like most people, sometimes I just need to get out and clear my head. I enjoy
going for a walk in a nice, quiet place or just sitting in silence and taking in the scene.
That had never really been a problem back home. There were nine people in my square mile, so I was never exactly overwhelmed by others. I could step outside and go for a walk around the farm without ever seeing another soul. I might pass a car or two along the road, but that was it. Finding a quiet place to relax was not too tough.
I have found this task to be considerably more difficult in Evanston. Occasionally the weather will be so nice that I simply cannot study indoors. I feel like I have to be outside enjoying the weather. Or maybe, like this week, after completing my midterms I need a mental rest, where I just need to find a nice, calm area where I can stretch out and unwind. Therein lies the problem.
Cars are constantly whizzing by on the main road through campus, which in itself is annoying enough. Factor in several emergency vehicle sirens throughout the day and traffic alone can be very tough to deal with when trying to get some peace and quiet.
The streets in this area are always under construction. Seriously. Ever since I got here seven months ago, there has been major construction right outside my dorm. And the noise drives me insane every time I look for a spot away from my room.
Thankfully, the noise from the machinery is not constant. No, periodically a low-flying airplane will drown out the construction crew, since we are less than 20 miles from O’Hare International Airport. This is kind of like someone stomping on your foot to help you forget about your headache.
Add in the occasional security alarm from a nearby dormitory and you get the idea that one can become distracted from studying every now and then when outside the cubicle I call a room.
It always use to bother me when someone pronounced the state “Illi-noise” because the “s” is silent. “No, there is no noise in Illinois,” I would always say. How wrong I was.
A Tale of Two Fans (4-14-07)
I have been a St. Louis Cardinals fan all of my life. My dad is a Cardinals fan, my granddad is a Cardinals fan, and my great-granddad was a Cardinals fan. At a young age I was given a choice: I could be a Cardinals fan or I could be disowned. I was introduced to baseball at a young age and I took to it like Kristy Alley took to Krispy Kremes.
 < Tony's team.
James is much the same. He comes from a long line of Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (of Orange County of…) fans and from birth he had no choice but to be an Angels fan. He embraced the Halos with all of his heart.
Despite the fact that James loves the Angels as much as I love the Cards, we represent the two sides on the fan spectrum.
James represents the emotional fans. He loves scrappy guys such as David Eckstein and Darin Erstad, guys that don’t have as much talent as many of their peers, but scratch and claw through every inning of every game. He roots for the underdog and loves feel-good stories.
His family has season tickets to the Angels, so he attends about 50 games per year, which allows him to know the players on a more individual level. James also loves a player’s “intangible” qualities such as chemistry, hustle, and ability to take the extra base.
For me, there is nothing more enjoyable than a day at the ballpark. But since I only one or two Cardinal games a year and am outside of the Cardinal’s broadcasting area, I do not get to watch my beloved Redbirds very often. Because of this, I do not know the individual players on the Cardinals, so my love is more of the team than the individuals that compose the team. You could say my love of the game is more “platonic”, a more detached love revolving more around statistics than emotions. For me, the crazier the stat the better. Runs batted in? Please. Give me Wins Above Replacement Player (WARP). You like batting average? I’ll take equivalent average (Eqa).
I do not value “intangibles” nearly as much as other fans. Sure, I love when Eckstein hustles down the line on a routine grounder, but that is less productive than when, say, Albert Pujols trots around the bases after smacking the ball into the next county. While people love to talk about a player’s intangibles, I feel that they are nearly worthless. Besides, most “intangibles” will find their way into the tangible stats now and again. Hustling out routine grounders leads to the occasional base hit when the fielder bobbles the ball momentarily (and the scorekeeper is feeling generous). Ability to take the extra base is reflected in a player’s tangible stats by scoring a few more runs than he might have otherwise. Over the long haul, though, intangibles are not valuable enough to merit the attention they receive.
My less emotional approach allows me to appreciate good play, even by players I do not like. Most people hate Barry Bonds, and with good reason. There are more loveable guys on “America’s Most Wanted”. While I am by no means a Bonds fan, I love watching him play. Every at bat has historical significance as he slugs his way towards Hank Aaron for perhaps the most sacred record in all of sports.
James, on the other hand, is less appreciative of Bonds. One of his favorite baseball memories came when he was sitting in the front row at a Giants game and he yelled, “Hey Barry, you suck!” and Bonds heard him.
None of this is to say I never get emotional. When the Cards play in October I have literally been sick to my stomach watching the games. After getting knocked out of the playoffs it takes me about a week to recover. And following the sweep in the 2004 World Series I was almost in tears. I am emotional for three hours on every game day, but in general I maintain a less emotional approach than other fans.
In a way James and I represent the meshing of traditional and contemporary baseball. When we debate, James bases his arguments more on anecdotal evidence and gut feelings, whereas I rely more on statistics to make my points.
Who is correct? Who cares? That is the beauty of baseball. You are never wrong.
A WEEK TO FORGET (4-8-07)
Spring Quarter has been in session for two weeks now and classes are in full swing. Most extra-curricular activities began this week, so students had a little time to get settled into their new schedules before worrying about everything else.
Wednesday was the first newscast of the new quarter for Northwestern News Network, the campus TV station. With the shifting of several staff members, we were prepared for a few bumps in the road. What we hit during the first part of the show were not so much bumps as potholes.
The first ten minutes of the show were a disaster. Correspondents did not get their reports in until past the deadline so the script was not settled until late. Because of this, not everyone was on the same page during the newscast. We also had trouble with audio and graphics. Several times the wrong anchor was on camera because of miscommunication. Our reporter that was live in the studio froze twice because of the commotion of people running around trying to fix things.
The newscast appears twice, once live at 7 and once at 10 on Evanston public television. Whenever something goes wrong we re-tape it for the 10 o’clock newscast, a process that normally takes about ten minutes. Wednesday, we were there for half an hour trying to get all of the glitches fixed.
And somehow, someway, I managed to do even worse as producer of my radio newscast two days later.
The two anchors that I normally work with have been together for eight years, which makes my job much easier. The night before the newscast, however, I received an email from one of them saying that they would be out of town and needed replacements. Since it was a Friday afternoon time slot, people were not exactly jumping to volunteer to fill in. Two hours before show time I did not know who my anchors would be.
This was also my first time in the brand new studio, so I was unfamiliar with some of the equipment. I had an unfamiliar studio and two new anchors to work with. Good times.
The two replacement anchors were experienced, but they were more deliberate than the two I usually work with, so we had to push back the start of the show to get the script set. When we finally got on the air I was dealing with equipment which was completely foreign to me. My entire purpose is to make things run smoothly, so knowing how to run the equipment would have been helpful.
My anchors sat down and were ready to go. I cued up the theme music and my lead anchor started talking…but I could not hear him. I furiously adjusted the board trying to get his microphone to work to no avail. I stopped him and had the music DJs stall for time while I tried to get things fixed.
Finally things were ready to go, and we started again. We were already ten minutes late going on the air, but that did not matter. I was just happy to have everything straightened out. Or so I thought.
In the new station the anchors do not have control over their microphones yet, so the producers have to turn them on and off, something we did not have to do at the old station. Throughout most of the newscast I forgot to adjust the microphones accordingly, so the anchors would have to hiss at me to turn them on, leaving several seconds of dead air each time (leaving dead air is a cardinal sin in radio producing).
The anchors are normally in a newsroom separate from me, but today they were in the studio where I was working due to equipment problems. Because of this, everything in the room had to be quiet, and I could not hear how loud the background music was. As a result, several times I had the theme music or commercials up way too loud, and, after writhing in pain, one of my anchors told me to turn it down.
After slogging through the 20 most painful minutes in my radio career my anchor turned around and said, “Let’s just burn the script and pretend today never happened.”
On the bright side, there is room for improvement.
First Impressions (4-1-07)
I began the third and final quarter of the year on Monday (yes, I am aware that “quarter” implies four, but people insist on saying we are on the “quarter system” even though we have only three periods, so I just don’t argue). I got a pretty good feel for most of my classes this week, getting an idea of how difficult they will be and what kind of work will be involved.
We are beginning to work in multimedia in the journalism course that I am taking, so in addition to writing I will also be photographing and videotaping various news stories this quarter. Although I prefer print journalism I think the experience with video will be helpful, if for no other reason than to keep my options open whenever I enter this mysterious “real world” that people keep talking about.
My Intro to Christianity course seems like it will be enjoyable, although there will be a ton of reading involved. The class meets three times a week and usually students are asked to read about 30 pages from the bible before each class. By itself, that is a manageable amount of reading but in conjunction with my other classes, it looks like I will have to spend many weekends catching up on work.
I am taking a Spanish course that is a continuation from last quarter. When I finish this class I will have fulfilled my foreign language requirement and never have to take any Spanish ever again! I learned that it takes most of the quarter, or about ten weeks, for me to be able to speak the language with any sort of coherency. When I went to class on Monday, I found it takes approximately twenty days for me to completely forget everything I ever learned about Spanish. So my first day of class was absolutely terrible as I tried to remember ANYTHING from the previous quarter. I tried to wing it by adding “o” to the end of all English words, but apparently that is not correct.
I also found out the hard way that sometimes it is best to just keep quiet when you have a limited vocabulary. The prof, a female in her 20s, had a new hairstyle that I thought was nice. I was searching for an adjective, and the best I could come up with was “Su pelo es interesante,” which means “Your hair is interesting.” I meant for it to be a complement, but said in mock horror “Interesante! Es negativo!”, because “interesting” is what you say when your boss walks in with a Hawaiian shirt, plaid shorts, black socks, and sandels and asks what you think of his outfit. I have always had a penchant for picking just the wrong word in English. Now I can unintentionally insult people in two languages.
The only course I did not really get a feel for is microeconomics, because right now we are reviewing the basic principles of supply and demand, which I have known for years. I will not know how difficult the course will actually be for a few weeks, when we start learning new concepts. The only thing I learned this week is that my econ course will involve a lot of reading, so I have to balance that with my Christianity course and hopefully stay on top of things.
Northwestern also made a significant change this quarter in regards to dormitory policy. Previously students were allowed to enter and exit the dorms through both primary and secondary entrances between 7 AM and 10 PM. Now, because there have been a few thefts (I do not know exactly how many but estimates are in the single digits), the university has shut down all secondary entrances, so students cannot enter or leave through them. If a student does exit through a secondary entrance a loud alarm goes off for about 10 seconds. My dorm has 15 secondary exits that students use all the time, meaning that I am constantly hearing the “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!” of alarms going off, which of course is very conducive to studying.
So Spring has sprung here at NU and with the new quarter come many changes, some good and some changes that are not so good *cough* alarms *cough*.
THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM (3-25-07)
Spring break is almost over. I have just two precious days of freedom left before I go back to Northwestern and begin Spring Quarter.
Although this week has been highly unproductive, it has been an enjoyable one nonetheless. My toughest reading assignment this week was the comics in the newspaper and the hardest math problem was figuring how many Oreos I could stuff into my mouth at once. Yes, life is good.
To be fair, I actually did do something useful this week. Before the week I had two goals: set my schedule for next quarter and pack my clothes for the return trip to Northwestern. The first one I accomplished. I finalized my schedule for Spring Quarter. My courses include Journalism, Spanish, Economics, and Intro to Christianity. I am sure there will be challenges along the way, but right now the course load does not seem daunting.
As for the goal of packing, well...at some point I should probably get on that. I do not leave until Sunday night, so I will probably start late Sunday afternoon. I do not want to put it off until the last minute or anything.
Other than finishing my schedule, the big development this week was receiving my grades from Winter Quarter. My Calculus teacher must have read my comments about his class because I got a “C” in math. Then again, maybe I got a “C” because I am terrible at Calculus. I suppose that is also possible.
 <Not Tony's bag.
Aside from that, however, things actually turned out pretty well, as I scored “A’s” in my other three courses, Spanish, History, and Journalism. For now, anyway, things are looking pretty good. Hopefully it continues into the spring.
TWO DOWN, ONE TO GO! (3-18-07)
Spring break is here, meaning I have now survived the first two quarters of my college career. With a rather large grin on my face, I can put a bow-tie on the quarter gone by and begin looking ahead to the final stretch of my freshman year.
After taking three exams in the past week, I am more relieved than anything about finally reaching spring break. The last two weeks have been spent trying to learn things such as how to say, “I walked the dog,” in Spanish (Yo caminé el perro), the purpose of a Taylor Series in Calculus (I STILL do not know what the purpose of a Taylor Series is), and when the War of 1812 was fought (take a wild guess). By the time my last exam was over I was not running on fumes. I was running on the fumes of my fumes of my fumes. And lots of caffeine.
I crashed as soon as exams ended, because I had just pulled two all-nighters in four days, which probably was not healthy for me. Then again, it beats failing a final exam. So the past few days have been spent catching up on sleep, and in doing so I have begun reflect in all that I have learned in my young college career.
Of the two quarters, this past one was probably more useful in terms of skills that I will actually be able to use after college. Obviously, my journalism course will be helpful in the future. I took a U.S. history course which seems pointless at first, but it is good for a journalist to know at least a little history, if for nothing else than as a point of reference for writing. Plus, U.S. history comes up in conversations every now and then, as opposed to, say, Brothers Karamazov. The Spanish course I took may or may not come in handy, but it seems that Spanish is becoming a very useful language to know, so it cannot hurt to know the basics. And then there was my calculus class, which will come in handy when…um…uh…well, pretty much never.
Aside from my journalism course during Fall Quarter, no other class really gave me anything that could be considered remotely helpful. Russian Literature? Pre-Columbian Art? Calculus? Could I have chosen three more worthless classes? Basket Weaving 101, perhaps?
 < Basket weaving is something Tony might be good at!
Unfortunately, the Winter Quarter was much drearier. I spent many days trudging to class in single-digit temperatures and double digit wind speeds. It did not help matters that we only had about three hours of daylight for a few weeks in January. Many times, I asked myself why I did not attend the University of Miami.
Winter Quarter was more of a drain on me mentally, but most of that was just depression because of the crummy weather. There was not much difference in the homework load, and of course I did not have to make near as many adjustments during this quarter.
All in all, I am glad to have the first two quarters under my belt, and hopefully things will keep improving as I continue to adjust to college life.
Reporting 101 (3-3-07)
The end of the quarter is rapidly approaching and activities are wrapping up. Northwestern News Network aired its final two shows of the quarter this week. I had mainly been involved as cameraman for the show and wanted to try something new, so I volunteered to cover a debate. Two former Chief of Staffs, Leon Panetta from the Bill Clinton administration and Andrew Card from the George W. Bush administration, were scheduled to meet at Northwestern on Tuesday night. I enjoy politics, so I figured that a debate would be fun to cover.
I borrowed a video camera from the station but when I arrived, I found that I could not film the debate because of a contract stipulation. Luckily, I also brought my notebook along, so I sat in the audience and took notes. Sure, it would not be as exciting as video of the actual debate, but it would have to do.
The debate was hosted by the College Democrats and co-sponsored by the College Republicans. The presidents of the College Democrats and College Republicans came out and did a quick introduction for Panetta and Card, respectively. The two men entered to thunderous applause. Let the debate begin!
I was expecting a format similar to the Presidential Debates, where the moderator reads a question, one of the participants responds, and then the other participant rebuts the first. Not quite.
Panetta started talking about his duties as a Chief of Staff and the history of the position. He also briefly touched on the 2008 Presidential Election and what he thought the major issues would be. He spoke for 20 minutes straight while I half-heartedly took notes, impatiently looking at my watch, wondering how long Panetta’s soliloquy was going to take. Finally he was finished and now the real debate would begin, right? Wrong!
Now it was Card’s turn to speak. He told the audience about his duties as Chief of Staff, some of which differed from Panetta’s. He then talked about the 2008 Presidential Election and what he thought the major issues would be. Slowly, it began to sink in that this was the debate. What a waste! I wanted something like the Presidential Debates where the two participants take constant shots at one another and the contestants always look like they are thisclose to breaking out into a brawl. Instead, the debate was more civilized than Queen Elizabeth.
There was a reception for the two men afterwards where I was given permission to shoot video of Panetta and Card. I hauled all of my camera equipment a few blocks through the cold Evanston night to the place where the reception was to be held. The “debate” had gone on slightly longer than anticipated, so the lady that was supposed to unlock the place had left. I was among a group of twenty or so people standing around outside waiting to be let in. Finally we found out what had happened, so the reception was moved to an Evanston hotel, about seven blocks in the opposite direction. Normally that would not be so bad, but I was hauling camera equipment, the night was cold, it was windy, and I was ticked because the debate was more lame than an Al Gore Tupperware party.
I was finally able to get some video of Card and Panetta talking to students, although I could not land an interview with either one. The reception was short, since both men had to catch early flights out of Evanston. I returned to my room at about 11, extremely disappointed at having just spent four hours chasing the story that wasn’t.
Welcome to the world of reporting. You always see reporters covering car chases, shootouts, and other such things, but the reality is that the vast majority of stories are like this one, things that are newsworthy but extremely boring to cover. Although I felt the debate was a waste, I did learn something: as a reporter, you are going to waste a tremendous amount of time. It takes several hours to properly develop a 30-second story. Many events and interview requests will not pan out. If nothing else, in college I am learning perseverance. Keep trying and maybe, just maybe, you will finally catch a break along the way.
I THOUGHT I COULD THINK (2-25-07)
I thought I could think. I really did. In high school I was considered a top-notch student, one of the smartest in the class. I thought I was ready take on anything. Boy was I wrong.
Since stepping foot on the Northwestern campus last September, I have been reminded many times over that I am not in high school any more. One such instance came just last week as I wrote a paper for my History class.
Of all the differences between high school and college, the most striking one is not the material that is taught but how it is taught. In high school, whenever a teacher assigned a paper like the one last week, the prompt was very clear and explicit and directly related to the text.
In college this is rarely, if ever, the case. The prompt for such papers is always very vague and rarely has any direct relation to the text. Instead the prompt is often based on only one or two specific points in the text, which often means reading it multiple times in order to find it.
In high school the purpose of such papers was usually to determine how well a student could comprehend the readings and then convey the main ideas into his or her own thoughts. In college there is much more critical thinking involved. Like high school, students are often asked to read an assigned text and then write a paper on it. The catch is that the entire paper is based on only one or two lines in the text. The student then must expand on those lines enough to write a lengthy paper, which requires much deeper thinking.
The most important thing in high school was the information that was taught. It did not matter so much how the student arrived at the answer, so long as it was the correct answer. College is geared more towards teaching students how to think rather than what to think. The vague prompts lead to more critical thinking and a wider range of possible answers.
On one hand the college method is a pain because it often requires reading the text multiple times. When you have 150 pages of readings to do, rereading is not exactly what you want at the top of your to-do list. But while regurgitation of information is a more efficient way of writing a paper, the college method of teaching actually better prepares students for the future because it introduces new lines of thought that can be used anywhere in the work force. After coming out of high school I felt I had pretty good critical thinking skills, but college has definitely changed that perception. Just like everything else in college, I have to adjust to change. With a lot of work, hopefully one day I can master the art of thought.
Valentine’s Day, College Style (Alternative title: Why Tony Can’t Get a Girlfriend) (2-18-07)
Ah, Valentine’s Day. A day of love and romance. A day to show that special someone just how much you care.
Northwestern students really go the extra mile on Valentine’s Day. Nothing is too extravagant for their sweetie. “Go ahead honey, get the Biggie size,” says Romeo to his Juliet while in line at the local Wendy’s.
In truth, February 14 came and went almost unnoticed at Northwestern. The dining halls made special heart-shaped cookies for Valentine’s Day (in case anyone REALLY wanted to impress his special lady), but that was just about it.
Valentine’s Day passed so quietly because nearly everybody on the campus is single. Telling people on a college campus “Happy Valentine’s Day!” is like going to the Middle East and telling people “Merry Christmas!” You will just get a bunch of dirty looks. I actually tried the latter once. Some people were not amused. Others were kind, though, and replied, “Jihad!” That must mean “thank you”.
I cannot speak for all colleges, but at least at Northwestern the dating scene is almost nonexistent because college life is just not conducive to dating. Between classes, homework, and jobs, it is difficult to maintain a serious relationship. Many people just are not looking to date, especially in an environment such as Northwestern’s. Some students are so focused on their studies that they simply do not have the time needed for dating.
In addition to time, the financial investment necessary for dating can be significant. Earlier I joked about “splurging” for a large combo meal, but for many college students that really is about all they can afford. Money is tight so most meals come from the dining halls, with the occasional “extravagant” night out at Mickey D’s.
Between the time and money necessary to facilitate a relationship, most college students simply don’t have the resources to make it work. It’s not all bad though. As David Spade said on the TV commercial, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go do whatever I want, whenever I want.” Sure, Valentine’s Day loses some significance to those of us that are single, on the other 364 days I’d rather be flying solo.
I am enjoying a degree of freedom in college that I never had before, and will never have again. Right now I have exactly zero obligations. Sure, I should go to class and do homework, but I do not have to. Sure, I have plenty of worries such as tests, papers, and grades, but that is by choice. I do not have to worry about anything, but I choose to because I would actually like to pass college. To enter into a relationship is giving up a part of that freedom, taking on extra obligations and worries, which is something many college students are not ready to do.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go do whatever I want, whenever I want.
Divided Loyalties (2-12-07)
When I was first accepted to Northwestern University I was ecstatic. After all, Northwestern is a great academic school, consistently ranked one of the best universities in the nation. While most of those other top colleges almost completely disregard athletics or only play teams such as Wassamatta U and Who R U, Northwestern maintains a (relatively) strong athletic program, (sort of) competing in the Big 10 Conference.
This was great for me because I grew up rooting for the Fighting Illini from the University of Illinois, another Big 10 team, so I already knew everything about all of Northwestern’s conference opponents: nicknames, coaches, star players, etc. Playing in the same conference as Illinois made Northwestern even more appealing to me. What I did not consider was the agony that this would later cause me.
The Big 10 season was running along smoothly (we even won a game!) until Wednesday, when the Fighting Illini came to town. To this point I had been a staunch Wildcat supporter, but the Illini were a special case. On one hand I was a student at Northwestern and had been to every home football and basketball game this year (excluding games over winter break). On the other hand, these were the Illini! The same Illini that I had lived and died with my entire life. The same Illini that I followed during their improbable run in the NCAA Tournament two years ago, when they fell just short of winning the first championship in school history. I could not just disregard those memories. Choosing between Northwestern and Illinois was an almost impossible task.
 <New family. Old Family.> 
This is a problem that is not unique to Northwestern students, but there are only a handful of schools with similar concerns, schools such as Notre Dame, Duke, and Boston College. All of these are private colleges that draw a vast majority of students from out of state. Boston College, like Northwestern, gets three quarters of its student population from out of state; Duke and Notre Dame draw almost 90% of their students from other states. This begs the question: how on earth does Notre Dame manage to find 200 intelligent kids from Indiana every year?
Unlike many private schools, however, these universities also face top-notch competition in the conferences such as the Big East and ACC, meaning many students at these institutions, like Northwestern students, will have allegiances torn between their college team and their team from back home.
There is one challenge unique to Northwestern students that these other schools don’t have: each of those other institutions has at least one program that is nationally renowned. Boston College has a very good hockey team while also fielding competitive basketball and football teams. Duke has a fantastic basketball program. Notre Dame has a strong football squad (although USC, Michigan, and LSU might disagree). Unless you count women’s lacrosse or softball, Northwestern really does not have any one dominating program. Let’s face it: rooting for Duke basketball or Notre Dame football is a little easier than cheering for than Northwestern women’s lacrosse.
Divided loyalty is a problem that is common to only a small group of colleges: private universities that play in large conferences and draw a majority of its students from out of state. Like many other decisions in college, students are forced to choose between that which is old and familiar and that which is new and exciting. It is part of what makes the college experience so enjoyable.
DANCE FEVER....(2-3-07)
The stereotypical college student sleeps until noon, goes to class, studies, and parties. That’s it. And the middle two are optional. But there is something else that many college students do that you probably don’t know about. They volunteer. A lot.
College campuses are chock-full of philanthropic opportunities. Habitat for Humanity, the Salvation Army, and the Make-A-Wish Foundation all work closely with students from Northwestern University. There are also many student organizations that champion causes such as AIDS, world hunger, and protection of the environment. Many students volunteer to tutor local students, help out at an animal shelter, or work with senior citizens. There is even an organization, OASIS (Organized Action by Students Interested in Society) that helps students find volunteer organizations.|
Coming up shortly is Northwestern’s largest and most popular fund-raiser, Dance Marathon, or DM. DM at Northwestern consists of 500 students dancing for 30 consecutive hours to raise money for a local charity. The first Dance Marathon was held 33 years ago at Penn State University. Now 80 schools, both high schools and colleges, host DM events to help raise money for local charities.
This year, participants are raising money for CURE (Citizens United for Research in Epilepsy). Epilepsy effects 2.7 million Americans according to CURE, 2.3 million of whom who do not have complete control over their seizures. Since 1998 CURE has raised over $7 million for epilepsy research. To donate, please go to their website at www.cureepilepsy.org.
These philanthropic opportunities are going on college campuses across the country. College students volunteer at hospitals, religious centers, and homelessness shelters, just trying to make a difference. Although good-will activities are not often seen as a large part of college life, many students actually do spend a significant amount of time helping others, whether it is something as simple as helping at the homeless center for a couple of hours or as complex as organizing Dance Marathon.
PASS THE VISINE PLEASE…..(1-27-07)
Three mid-term exams in five days. That is the daunting task I faced when I woke up today. After slogging through my Spanish exam this morning, I have the weekend to prepare for my media exam on Monday and my Calculus exam on Tuesday. If I can survive the next couple of days I will have some time to take a breath, as I do not have any more exams for three weeks. That is the light at the end of a very long and very dark tunnel. If my Spanish exam is any indication, I have many hours of studying ahead of me. The exam seemed to go fairly well, although I still am not very good at speaking Spanish, or “hablaing Espanol” as Steve Lyons would say.
 < "I got fired for remarks like that. Thanks for reminding me Jarboe."
To prepare for the exam, my professor gave students a list of things to study. One of the things I was supposed to do was watch an online video. Just after midnight, I tried to access the video but could not. I got an error message saying that too many people were trying to access the video, and that I would have to try again some other time. Only at college...
To keep my sanity over this past week I have taken the occasional break and gone for a walk along the lake front. The weather has been unseasonably warm, making the walks so much more pleasant. Who says global warming is a bad thing?
NO NAPPING DAY.....(1-20-07)
For the first time in university history, Northwestern cancelled all classes in honor of Martin Luther King Jr. Day this past Monday. Instead of regular classes, guest speakers gave speeches on Dr. King, his legacy and racial relations as they now stand. I initially planned a day of marathon napping, but my journalism professor offered students five extra credit points to go to one of the speeches and write a story about it. I will take about any extra credit that I can get, so I went to see Clarence Page speak. When I arrived, I saw several other journalism students in the balcony. I sat next to one and asked if he was just there for the five points. “No, I was going to come anyway. This is my favorite holiday.” Now I realize that Dr. King was an important figure in the civil rights movement and he represents a noble cause, but to be one’s favorite holiday strikes me as odd, to put it politely. Whatever floats his boat, I guess.
Until I got there I had incorrectly assumed that I was just going to see a speech by Clarence Page and nothing else. Instead, I had to endure an excruciating 45-minute program with singing and endless speeches by various figureheads thanking just about everyone with a pulse.
Even though classes were cancelled, one of my professors was not content just to let students off scot-free. Students had to watch an internet podcast of the lecture she would have given had we had class that day. So I had to sit and watch an hour and a half lecture even though we did not have class that day. I was less than pleased to say the least.
Today Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams came and spoke to Northwestern students. They are, of course, the guys that wrote “Game of Shadows” and helped blow the BALCO case sky-high. Unfortunately they could not actually say much, because there is a very good chance that they could go to jail for not revealing their sources for the book. Nonetheless, it was an interesting discussion, and it was cool to see those two in person.
 < Which one is Fainaru-Wada and which one is Williams? Williams is on the left.
THE WINDY CITY……(1-14-07)
Despite living on the doorstep of one of the largest cities in the country, I had never actually gone into Chicago just for fun. Between my studies and extra-curricular activities, I have rarely had much free time. Sunday was one of the few days this year where I have had some time off and I wanted to make the best of it.
 < Chicago.
Two friends from my dorm, James and Renee, had wanted to visit the city for some time, so we hopped on the “L” and went into Chicago to check things out. We visited a couple of vintage shops. I had never heard of a vintage shop before, so I had no idea what to expect. As it turns out, a vintage store is just an eclectic mix of things, predominantly clothing. There were hospital scrubs, army uniforms, bright orange jumpsuits from East Germany, and pink ruffle shirts from the 1970’s. There were also sailor hats, army medical bags, kimonos, as well as a giant statue of a chicken.
After the vintage store we visited a comic book store at the behest of Renee. This time I had a better idea of what to expect. The shelves were lined not only comic books but also action figures and DVDs of comic book heroes. This store had more nerds in it than a Willy Wonka factory.
 < Easier read than calculus. Sometimes.
As evening approached we decided to head back to Evanston. On the ride back I reflected on our trip and realized that I had learned three important lessons that day. First, if I ever needed a pink ruffle shirt and a bright orange raincoat, I knew where to go. Second, if I ever feel dorkier than a pocket protector, I can visit the comic book store, where I will fit right in.
Finally, I learned that whenever you go shopping, there should always be a female present. The last time I went shopping with James, it was a complete disaster. Just the fact that a female was present seemed to repel the evil spirits. Men everywhere take note: never go shopping without a female companion. It just does not work well. Trust me.
LOOKS GREEK TO ME……(1-12-07)
Before coming to college I had always heard horror stories from people about how a professor would give his students a quiz that was completely unrelated to the lectures, covering information that the students would have no way of knowing. I had never experienced such a quiz until this week, in calculus no less. After whipping through the first question, I flipped the page and started working on the second question. I struggled through it and finally got an answer, but I only had five minutes to do the final question. Turning to the last page, my mouth dropped open when I saw the final question, because it looked like someone spilled a box of Greek Alpha Bits on my paper. It took me about five minutes to decipher the question, never mind answer it. Anyway I scribbled a few things and handed in my quiz as time expired. The next day the teacher says “That was a really tough quiz! You guys did very well. The class average was around 60 percent.” He then proceeded to explain that he just threw that last question on there and we were not expected to know, meaning one-third of the quiz consisted of questions which we were not expected to know. Somewhere, my grade point average is weeping.
GOOD MORNING EVANSTON!..... (1-6-07)
Shortly after the new year arrived I returned to Evanston to begin my second quarter. The new quarter got off to a fast start, as I had three straight classes beginning at 8 AM, which does not sound so bad except that I have found that 8 AM comes much earlier in college than it does back home. Thankfully I could just about sleep through the first day of classes (which I almost did), since the professors mainly gave students an overview of the course, with very little actual note-taking involved.
I struggled a little to get through the morning but was able to make it through okay. That evening, however, I had to attend a three-hour grammar seminar. A grammar seminar is bad enough in itself, but it happened at the same time as the Sugar Bowl. There was another option, but it was even worse: 1-4 PM on Saturday. Going for three hours on Wednesday night made me depressed; three hours on a Saturday afternoon would make me suicidal. To be fair, the course was better than I expected, although I think that says more about my expectations than it does about the seminar itself. I actually learned a few things, so it was worthwhile. Still, I had to miss the Sugar Bowl. Had Notre Dame actually shown up I would have been very upset.
 <"Don't worry TJ. You didn't miss much" -J Russ
At the seminar students were told to stop by the teacher’s office and pick up the syllabus for the course. No problem, I figured. I went to grab a packet and lifted up this huge stack of papers. I assumed I had picked up about 50 copies of the syllabus, but as it turned out, I had only snatched one. I about needed a forklift to carry the thing back to my room.
 < This came in handy!
There have been times that I have wondered just what the heck it is about college that adults miss. Long study hours, hernia-inducing packets, and early morning classes? Woohoo! I always hear people reminicing about their college years, how they were the best years in one’s life. Today I figured out why. One of the people in my hallway came in at about 11 o’clock this morning. Naturally, I was curious about where he had been. "Oh, I’m just getting back from last night." My resident advisor was walking around in her bathrobe. Nothing unusual about this except that it was 4 o’clock in the afternoon. Oh, the joys of college!
BACK TO SKOOL.....(12-30-06)
Here it is, my last post in 2006. This is also my last post from home, as I head back to Northwestern shortly after ringing in the New Year. As of now, my schedule for next quarter does not look too bad. I am taking calculus, political science, and history in addition to my editing and writing class next semester. Political science and history are generally good classes. As for calculus, let’s just say I am less than thrilled about having to take it. However, I will never have to take another calculus class again after this quarter, so I am definitely excited about that.
 < Tony will love his calculus class!
Although I am not eager to return, I will be ready when the time comes. All I have left to do is some last-minute packing and a few more textbooks to purchase. I also have to say goodbye to family and friends, but that should be much easier the second time around, because the first time is always the most difficult.
While I am not exactly a seasoned veteran yet, this second quarter should be much easier. I am now well acquainted with the campus and I know what is expected of me. It took me several weeks to develop a routine the first time as I worked to familiarize myself with my surroundings. This time I will probably have my routine set by the end of the week.
It will be nice to be able to see my friends for the first time in nearly a month. I will also feel better because I will once again be a productive member of society. Over break I did not do much but relax. Certainly it was nice to take a break, but I also felt a twinge of guilt about not doing anything productive. That is all about to change.
I have to run. I have a lot of goofing off left to do and not much time to do it. Happy New Year!
Economics 101 (12-24-06)
People always tell me that I should spend my free time learning something constructive. Well, this past week I have learned a valuable lesson in economics, and more specifically depreciation. I am trying to sell back my textbooks from last quarter and have found that their value has fallen faster than Sammy Sosa. I purchased them for approximately $80 gazillion plus tax. When I went to sell them back three months later, my books are worth about as much nude photos of Rosie O’Donnell. I have been looking around at sites such as Amazon.com and eBay trying to recoup some of the money I spent to purchase them, but to no avail thus far. Anyone want some used textbooks?
 < Buy these textbooks....and Tony will throw in a free highlighter!
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