Questions? You have them, Bill wants them. Send your questions, on any subject, to Bill at artificialturf2003@yahoo.com. The best ones will get a public response here on this page. Don't be shy, I won't use your last names. So, fire off those questions.

 

Hi Bill,
Give me something positive about the Rockies this off-season. First they get rid of Holliday and Fuentes is gone. Atkins will probably get traded. The pitching stinks. Give me some hope! Please.
Jason V. , Denver, Co

 

Hi Jason,
Baseball is all about hope and optimism. They still have some good young players. They have a sharp manager, a crafty GM and solid, win at all costs ownership. Wait, scratch that last sentence. Jason, your team is toast. Sorry.

Dear Bill,
A few questions and you must choose and answer truthfully....
1)  Do you wear Boxers or Briefs
2 ) TV Sports Watching.... Women's Professional Basketball or Bass Fishing|
3)  Can support only one team....Notre Dame or New York Yankees
4)  Must spend the entire day with either....your mother-in-law or Osama bin Laden
V.M. in Chicago 

Dear V.M In Chicago,
Interesting questions.
#1. Briefs...always white.
#2. Bass fishing. I'm a fan of nature and riveting television.
#3. NY Yankees.
#4. Osama bin Laden. I would kill him and be a national hero. If I killed my mother-in-law I would probably get a jail sentence. But if it were in self defense......mmmmmm?
There ya go.


Dear Bill,
Are you sick and tired of Brett Favre like I am?
J.M. in Denver 

Dear J.M.,
I've always been a big Favre fan. However, he is acting like a spoiled brat these days. I don't blame Green Bay for looking to move on.  I would guess Giants CB Corey Webster would like Favre to stay retired since he caught the last pass he's ever thrown...so far.

 

Hey Billy,
Why no link to CSU on your links page. All the other Colorado schools have links.
Keith From Arvada

Hey Keith,
Good question, one I don't have an answer for. Does CSU still have an athletic program?

Hi Bill,
Have you ever been to a WNBA game? Have you ever met Tiger Woods? Do you have a man crush on any Denver athletes? Do you know John Elway? What is your favorite college team in Colorado?
Karen, Boulder, Colorado

Hi Karen,
Nice to hear from you again. Let's see. I'm a season ticket holder to the Houston Comets games and I fly down to see them every chance I get. So, yes to number one. Have I ever met Tiger Woods? Maybe I'll call him on his private line and ask him to e-mail you a photo of Tiger and me when I was an usher at his wedding. As for the man crush, I would say the entire Nuggets roster, especially Kenyon Martin, a real sweet guy. John Elway? Who is John Elway? Sounds familiar but I'll have to say no, I don't know him, whomever he is. My favorite college team in Colorado would be Air Force, except when they play Army. Your Buffs are second on my list although I'm still upset and perturbed that Rocket Ismail's punt return in the Orange Bowl was called back by a bogus clipping call. Phew. I'm tired Karen. Next time a one question limit for you!

Bill,
What should be Michael Vick's punishment if he is found guilty of dog fighting? Dennis in Aurora

Dennis,
How about smearing him with meat sauce and sticking him in a cage with some hungry dogs?

What makes a sport a sport? And what's the difference between a sport and a game? I don't consider poker, pool, or competitive eating to be sports - but apparently we live in a world where they have become as such.
Micaela T, Aurora, CO

Micaela, thanks for the question. Haven’t had an "Ask Bill" question in a while.
Personally, I think a sport has to involve some sort of physicality along with a ball, a stick, a puck, skates or skis (snow or water) or if time and measurement is involved (track and field). I would say pool is a sport, although a mild one. It does take hand/eye coordination, strategy and physicalness, if that is a word.
Anything where you sit at a table and play cards is not a sport. I don’t consider auto racing a sport either because motors are involved. Where is the athleticism in that? Bottom line though is people can decide for themselves if an activity is a sport or not. If they’re not sure they can ask me.
By the way Micaela, I find it very hard to believe you don’t find competitive eating a sport. I’m shocked. Hey Cornell, pass the french fries!

 

 

Bill,
Should mark McGwire get into the Hall of fame?
Jason M, Denver, CO

Jason,
He'll get in eventually but it might take a while. I wouldn't vote for him if I had the chance because I think he was a marginal candidate to begin with. Low lifetime average, one-dimensional and hurt way too much.
Now, if there was a steroid Hall of Fame, he would be a first ballot inductee. Anyway, I'm not here to talk about McGwire's past.

Hey Bill,
Which sports talk show host do you like to listen to the most?
Max, Denver

Hey Max,
Nice to get another e-mail from you. Anyway, I don't listen to many other sports talk shows because I find very few of them to be interesting, compelling or entertaining. However, the one exception is Colin Cowherd on ESPN. I try to make it a point to catch some of his show every day and I think he's the best in the business right now. Cowherd's segments with Beano Cook are classic.

Dear Bill,
I am sitting here in my cubicle at work (10-26) bored out of my mind. It is snowing like crazy and there is a foot of snow on the ground and I was thinking what if the Rockies were in the World Series?
Evan K, Denver

Dear Evan,
I always enjoy hypothetical questions, but isn't this one a little far fetched? Anyway, if the Rocks were in the Series and they were scheduled to play at Coors Field tonight, I'm guessing they would postpone it. Just a hunch. So, is it a nice cubicle?

Bill,
I'm very happy the Yankees are out of the playoffs again. Would you say they are the chokingest team in baseball? What are they doing now? Ha-ha!
Brad W, Castle Rock, CO

Brad,
Thanks for writing. No, I would not say the Yankees are the "chokingest" team in baseball. I don't know what they are doing now since it's the off-season and I don't stalk players. Anyway, I was wondering, what is your favorite baseball team? Now get outta here!

Dear Mike,
I actually drove across the USA, north to south, east to west, looking for the perfect set of mailboxes to put on this page. It just so happened that I discovered what I was looking for in scenic Kootenai County, Idaho. I have to disagree with you regarding their fine newspaper. It is highly underrated. Although, the potatos in Idaho are overrated. Maine potatos are better. As far as using the Coeur d'Alene newspaper for show prep, if it is good enough for Tom Brokaw and Adele Arakawa, then its good enough for me.

Dear Bill,
How upset are you at the poor showing by the USA soccer team in the World Cup?
Kevin S. , Morrison, CO

Dear Kevin,
I'm not upset at all. We weren't expected to do much. Soccer's not our game. Although, I would like to see the United States win the World Cup someday just to shove it in the faces of the rest of the world. Spoken like a true ugly American!

Bill,
Thank you for answering my quetion. So, who is the bigger jerk, you or Jim Roser?
Max, Denver, Co.
(Editors note: Read one question below for Max's originial query to "Ask Bill")

Max,
Very good, well thought out, inquisitive question Max. This is a tough one. I would like to say me but to be honest it is probably a toss-up. Although Jim would love to have the title of "Biggest Jerk on the Turf" I won't just hand it to him without a fight.

Bill,
Is Jim Roser as big a jerk as I think he is?
Max, Denver, Co.

Max,
No. Bigger.

Dear Sir:
I sense that you know your baseball so I have a question for you. Who was a better hitter; Whitey Lockman or Gus Zernial?
Frank D, Culpeper, Virginia

Dear Sir,
Both players were solid major leaguers in the 50's. Since they were before my time, I will have to go on just stats (which we know can be misleading). I would go with Zernial as the better hitter. He had more HR's, and more RBI's although Lockman had a higher batting average. I do know this.....their numbers were not steroid enhanced. By the way, how come we don't see anymore players named Whitey?

Dear Bill,
What is the most overused word sports announcers use/misuse?
Evan K, Denver, CO

Dear Evan K,
Good question. Sports announcers overuse and misuse plenty of words. One word that I think is misused is unbelievable. A guy who doesn't hit many homers connects and the announcer is yelling, "unbelievable!" Why? We just saw it. Why does everything have to be so unbelievable to sports announcers? Myself, I'm probably guilty of this as well. Now that is unbelievable!

Hey Bill,
Love your website but I have one problem with it. How about putting a up a better looking "Babe of the Day"?
Chuck, Connecticut

Hey Chuck,
No.

Bill,
How come you don't talk about politics on your show?
Keith, R, Aurora, CO

Keith,
The reason we don't talk about politics (much) on our show is because it is what we call a sports talk show. Thanks for asking.

Dear Bill,
Do you have a favorite newspaper sports columnist and/or a least favorite.
Gator Man, Denver, CO

Dear Gator Man,
Favorite: Mike Vaccaro, NY Post.
Least favorite: Jason Whitlock, KC Star;  Bernie Lincicome, Rocky Mountain News.
Favorite and Least favorite at the same time: Mike Lupica, NY Daily News.

Yo Bill,
You showed your top three baseball stadiums on the Turf Baseball 2006 page. PNC Park was missing. So what is the worst baseball stadium?
Doug M, Pittsburgh, PA

Yo Doug,
PNC Park looks awesome, much better than Three Rivers Stadium where I saw many games while attending good ole Duquesne U. Why did I go to Duquesne? Cause I couldn't get into Notre Dame! Anyway, I have never been to PNC Park, that is why I left it off my list. As for the worst baseball stadium, it used to be Olympic Stadium but since the Expos are no longer, I will go with..... horrible Shea Stadium as the worst in the major leagues. Terrible, uncomfortable place and to top it off, inhabited by the worst form of vermin on the planet except for terrorists and rats.....Mets fans.

Bill,
My Final 4 prediction: Tennessee, BC, Kansas and Duke with Tennessee winning the tournament. Do you think I have a chance to win the office pool?
Charlotte, Pearl River, New York

Charlotte,
So long you don't have the Knicks I think you have as good a chance as anybody.

Dear Bill,
Why don't you call your mother more often?
Janice, Spring Valley, NY

Dear Janice,
What a coincidence! My mom's name is also Janice and she also hails from Spring Valley! I'll give her a call today.....if I can find the number.

Dear Bill,
You should have Wayne Gretsky's wife on the show to talk about gambling and her locks of the week.
Stephen B, Littleton, Colorado

Dear Stephen,
Technically, this is not a question but a suggestion. I suggest you learn how to spell The Great One's name correctly (Gretzky) and then immediately seek employment as a radio program director. I think you have what it takes.

Billy Boy,
What is the dumbest question you've been asked lately?
Ryan in Columbia, Missouri

Ryan,
We have a winner!

Bill,
What was that joke you said about women's basketball on the last show? I wanted to tell someone but I forgot.
Thanks,
Dave P, Denver

Dave,
Since I only told one women's basketball joke on the show Sunday I'm guessing this is it. It was told to me by a college hoop official about a decade ago.
How can you spot a good women's basketball official?
Answer: They won't let the game go into overtime.

Mr. Bill,
Thanks for putting my questions on your website and answering them. Maybe this one will get on. Who is your favorite female athlete ever?
Karen, Boulder, Colorado

Ms. Karen,
You are welcome. I enjoyed your questions. As for my favorite female athlete ever, let me think. I've never been asked that before. I don't have one particular favorite so I'll just give you a few of the female athletes I've liked over the years: Julie Krone, Mary Lou Retton, Grete Waitz, Steffi Graf, Ruth Riley, Bonnie Blair, Ruffian, Mary Decker, Katarina Witt, Diana Taurasi and Richard Simmons.

Mr. Bill,
I have two questions. Could you hit Nolan Ryan's fastball? Have you ever given birth?
Karen, Boulder, Colorado

Ms. Karen,
I never played in the big leagues so I don't know the answer to your first question. However, after pondering it for several hours now, my answer, if I did play in the majors would be....no. If you are talking about the current, 59-year old version of Nolan Ryan, the answer would be...yes. Wait, make that maybe. Check that....probably not. Who am I kidding. Nolan could be 80 and I still couldn't hit him.
As for your probing second question, no, I have not given birth. Had I ever done so, I'm guessing you would have heard about it. Not to get too personal here Karen but methinks you may have had difficulty in biology class. I also see you are from Boulder. Shocker. Anyway, thanks for the inquiries.

Dear Bill,
Who is your favorite soccer player?
Anthony From The Bronx, NY

Dear Anthony,
Always nice to get an e-mail from The Bronx. My favorite soccer player.....mmmmmm. Good question. There are so many of them. If I had to pick one I would say....That guy from Brazil with one name.

Hey Bill,
How do you explain the Yankees not winning a World Series in 5 years?
Kevin Z, Lakewood, Colorado

Hey Kevin,
Hard to believe isn't it? Of course, as a long-suffering Yankees fan, it is painful but what concerns me most are the legions of 3 and 4 year old kids who have never seen the Yanks win a series in their lifetime. You have to feel for them. While I want the Yankees to win their 27th World Series title, it's not about me anymore. It's about the kids.

Dear Bill....
I have this terrible rash in my "private area", and I can't figure out how to make it go away. I first noticed it when I came back from Raider-fest 2005. Any advice?
Raider Fan

Dear Raider Fan,
I'm not surprised that you got a terrible rash in your private area from attending a Raider Fest. I'd be surprised if you didn't. Perhaps the event should have been called "Raider Infest 2005". My advice to clear up the problem....kill yourself.

Dear Bill,
Who did you vote for in the last presidential election and are you a democrat or republican?
Evan K, Denver, Colorado

Dear Evan K,
I voted for George Bush. There is no way I could have voted for John Kerry and his enormous head.
I am neither a Democrat or Republican. I am an independent (like Notre Dame football). I vote for the best candidate no matter their political affiliation.

Bill,
I know you are not a fan of Colorado teams but if you had to pick one Colorado team to win a championship what team would it be?
Dennis in Aurora

Dennis,
While I am not a fan of any Colorado teams, I don't dislike them (like I do the Red Sox or Cowboys) and I pull for them to do well because good teams are more interesting than lousy teams usually. If I could pick a Colorado team to win a championship it would be the Rockies. I would love to see how crazy Denver would get if Coors Field hosted a World Series. (*note: The Rocks made it to the 2007 World Series. Really.)